nostalgia

last night i was thinking back to christmases past.

i was trying to remember the last 'kids' christmas i had. the christmases before my brother went to university when we would all stumble downstairs in the morning for breakfast - cinnamon buns and mandarins of course - and then go into the family room where a roaring fire and a tree load of presents would be waiting for us. stockings were always, always first. we even had stockings that i had made for the dog and cat. there would always be one final present that was extra special and i'll forever remember the year it was a computer. back when old desktops were cool and frogger was in vogue. grandma and grandad would be there for christmas dinner, inevitably arriving an hour later than we expected them.

and that was just the start.

there would be at least two days of christmases to follow where we would go stay with my dad and stepmum, see karen and wendy (and whoever they were dating at the time ;), grandma and grandpa, and any other relatives that happened to be around.

i guess i started thinking about all this because i was trying to feel festive. it just hasn't happened yet this year even though i've watched a couple films, made loads of crafts, starting the baking, put up the tree, and made paper snowflakes for the windows.

so today when i got home from work i put on the christmas carols whilst doing the baking and that seems to have done the trick. this year will be so very different from last when davoud and i were in canada with loads of snow and all the family. there will be no bbqs blowing over in the wind, no tobogganing or mad unwrapping of presents by nieces and nephews, but i suppose it's time to start with new traditions too. i just have to come up with a couple.