home

i've been thinking a lot about this word lately. partly because i know i'm not going *home* to canada for a visit until this time next year. partly because i'm reading this book that val lent me called 'writing home' which is a collection of canadian writers sharing their thoughts about home. partly because i'm moving into a new home with davoud in a week and a half.

but to be honest, what spurred all of these thoughts on was the book. there are a few essays and short stories in it that have either reminded me of my spiritual home - the cottage - or have kicked me in the butt saying home is wherever you hang your hat. for me, it's wherever my teddy bear snowflake that i've had since i was about 3 years old lays his grey, worn, button-eyed self.

am i homesick? yes, constantly if you think about it in terms of canadian wilderness, family and my so-called spiritual home. am i happy? yes, because i'm so blessed in life and there are so many good things happening, so many more things to see in europe, and i'm about to make a new house into a home with someone; something i've never done before.

one of the essays i read by sharon riis talks about her friends all over the world lighting up the dark sky just for her. that's how i'd like to think of it too...all across canada, england, australia, my friend rebecca who i travelled around spain with who i just found out is in iran...all those little lights guiding my way to all my separate homes. because as christian morganstern said:

home is not where you live but where they understand you