the last post

today is my last full day in my liverpool home. and it feels mighty weird. weird because there are so many people here i will miss and who have said they'll miss me too. weird because there are so many people back in canada overly excited about me coming back, and i'm overly excited too!

i haven't had too much time to fully reflect on my last four years here, but i have been thinking about the first six months a lot. how wonderful, accepting, lovely and beer-loving everyone was. it didn't take long before i was one of the crew...and i still am. i'll desperately miss a lot of people and things, but here's a list so far that i've compiled of things that i've learnt:

1. that people are precious, delicate individuals whose beings no one can fully know without complete openness. that no matter what tortoise shell exterior someone may have, we all need to draw our head inside sometimes.

2. it's okay to grow my hair long and not feel less like i did when i was 18

3. the telephone truly is the greatest CANADIAN invention (many disagreements over whether Alexander Graham Bell was scottish, but we can all agree he is canadian). no matter how great the internet is for keeping in touch there is nothing quite like hearing a loved one's voice. especially if they're a niece or nephew being coached to say 'i wuv you' and 'i miss you'

4. how much i appreciate each and every member of my family, how close i've grown to them over the years, and how much it hurts to lose one of them.

5. there is a song for every feeling and every occasion

6. as they said in high fidelity, sometimes it's what you like more than what you are like (and scousers love to say 'whaddar ya like?'

7. the value of patience, grace and principles. still working on those...

8. that the reason i was drawn here in the first place was my ancestry and that is also the reason that's drawing me back home.

9. how much i love camping and hillwalking (but really it was just a substitute for the cottage:)

10. how generous and loving people are.

11. that scousers truly are one of a kind.

12. you can pack a lot of people into a small country and even more people into a field of tents (a la glastonbury)

13. as much as i complain about british/mersey rail, i really do love it.

14. i can change career paths.

15. i can do my masters whilst working full-time, so maybe my phD too!

it's quite a random list and not nearly as exhaustive as i'd like, but the brain is a bit mushy and scattered what with all the packing and saying goodbyes. i will treasure the text on this blog forever and will probably use one of those nifty sites to make it into a little book for myself.

so thanks for the memories, laughter and lifelong friendships i've established in the last four years.

...and can't wait to get back home! one more sleep.

three more sleeps

it was my intention to post a lot more in the last few weeks, but it just hasn't happened - my apologies! i wanted to post as often in my last two weeks in liverpool as i had in my first two, but i guess i've been a lot busier in these last two than the first!

i had a flying visit to amsterdam with val, which was really lovely and nice to do immediately after i finished work. there were a lot of walks, a few museums, great food and of course wonderful company. val had kindly given me a spa day for my birthday, which we indulged in the day after we got back. it was lovely, relaxing and resulted in me having hysterical hair.

this past weekend was an extended one down in norwich with sam, kel, nick and dipak. the weather was phenomenal, there was seaside, pubs, more good food, more wonderful company, a bit of a swim and a rowboat ferry!

i've spent the last couple days wandering around my liverpool home. walking up to anfield, running errands, visiting the tate, fact, the bluecoat, the docks and tomorrow a few more walks and hopefully some nice weather. it's a weird and strange time...one that feels absent of the passage of time completely.

i'm really excited to be moving back home and feel incredibly at peace when thinking about it, but i will miss a lot of people and things over here. but it's always nice to have friends everywhere - more free places to stay!

"very often we travel the world over in search of what we need and return home to find it." - george moore

a few random musings on my last couple weeks at work.

i think there are times when songs follow you. for me it's been 'fields of gold' by sting for some completely unknown reason. it started when i was re-watching aaron sorkin's not so successful show studio 60. the premise is that it's a show about a late night sketch comedy show (think saturday night live). one night the musical guest is sting playing his lute and the executive producer asks him to sing fields of gold. now i like the original version, but with a lute? so much better.

i heard the song again - another cover - when i was taking the train to the airport for grandma's funeral. listening to stuart maclean broadcast a show from 'the canadian' train, the one that goes across canada. it was a lovely acoustic version covered by someone whose name i can't remember.

lastly, i heard it just a few days ago walking from the walker art gallery to the station on my way home. there are several grotty karaoke pubs in liverpool and at this particular one someone happened to be belting out fields of gold. i listened to it that night doing housework to get a lovely voice singing it back into my head.

i've been trying to put together a mix before i leave liverpool, but it's really hard. i'm obsessive about each song leading into the next and that's hard to do when you're not just trying to get a good series of songs together, but to try and weave a story too. i'm sure i'll get there, but it needs a few more takes.

it feels weird that i only have two days left at work. in fact i think it only just dawned on my yesterday. i've started saying goodbye to people and that feels strange. i wonder who i'll keep in touch with and who will just become a memory for me. i wonder if i'll miss schlepping to the train station with bags of stuff to take into work in the rain trying not to let my hair get wet and frizzy. i wonder if i'll ever really appreciate how fortunate i've been to have the opportunities i've had here and if i'll be able to convey that properly to my own little community here.

i found a card when i was cleaning out my desk yesterday. it was left on my desk when i first started at the lady lever art gallery and just welcomed me and wished me well. i remember being really touched by it, but that's just how this place is. everyone helps everyone. it's been my own little family away from home and i'm going to miss them.

i'll be weepy about leaving my friends too when the time comes, but that's not for a couple weeks yet. a word of warning though - i'm not going to keep the blog up when i move back to canada. i thought it would be nice just to have it of a record of my four years here.

Margaret Jessie Gould

It's been a tough and trying time for my family lately. Sadly, my Grandma Gould died last week on 7 July just over two months since my Grandpa passed away. She had been suffering with dementia and other ailments and it was a relief for her that she suffered no longer and saved her family more pain in watching her drift away. That might seem crass to some, but blessings often disguise themselves. I was home for the funeral this week and arrived back in Liverpool yesterday for my last month in the UK.

The Minister who has presided over both services was Canon Jim Kiddell who knew both of my grandparents well in their time at St Mathias Church in Etobicoke. When he spoke about Grandpa he referred to him most often as principled, for my Grandma it was 'pearl' and gracious. Quite a lot was said about both of them at both services because they were such a team, but I've been reflecting too on them as individuals.

She was an incredibly gracious woman and here's a few random musings...

Remembering her now, I always remember wanting to have her fiery red hair when I was younger. Her house was always impeccably clean, perfectly organised and they did have the cleanest basement I've ever seen in my life. She took pride in her home and I think that is something I've definitely taken from her too. But she loved a good laugh and always seemed on the verge of making a punchline of virtually every story. She shared so much with so many people and from that I take that she must have cherished the wider community she was a part of.

She also loved turtles. For many birthdays, Christmases and Mother's Days I'm sure I bought her a little turtle. I'll always remember her little cabinet in the den at Rowse Crescent and picking my favourites out. Her little bell would ring each morning for Grandpa to bring the coffee presumably. She let me stay up late to watch the Golden Girls and I can still sing every word of that theme song today! She loved stroking my hair, whatever the length, and counting freckles. Whenever I would leave her house in the summer, I'd always leave with an empty margarine tub full of cherry tomatoes.

The other past time I'll take from her is peering into the windows of people's houses at night. I'm not sure whether she was checking out their decor or seeing if she could catch people up to something mischievous, but she loved it and now I do too.

But you cannot help thinking of my Grandma and Grandpa together. They were married for over 66 years so were inseparable. Grandpa would always call me - to dial the numbers - but then I'd quickly be passed over to Grandma - who he called the boss. I think that simply demonstrates how they did always do things as a team. I'll remember them both with the utmost love, fondness and admiration. I'll miss them always but hold dear the lessons learnt.

Finally, I just want to write somewhere so I don't forget, that I mentioned to my cousin's wife Kelly at the service that one of the last conversations I had with my Grandpa was about my masters dissertation. He told me about how he researched his from old newspapers at the central library in Toronto. Apparently, Kelly said he randomly dug it out and told everyone about it and she hadn't known what had triggered it. I guess it was that slightly random conversation with me.

glasto review

i'm back. showered, laundry in progress, and back to work today for a three day week. i think it will be needed as last week was pretty exhausting! not because i was in the dance tent until 4 am, but because you walk and stand for virtually five days and sometimes through some pretty thick mud. several wellies got left behind...

it was absolutely brilliant though. 25 bands in 3 days including some of the biggest names in the biz - neil young, bruce springsteen, blur, crosby stills & nash, and tom jones. of course there were several 'smaller' names that i saw who were equally entertaining and talented just not as main stream.

there is nothing to prepare you for the enormity of it and a few things that you don't know before arriving. long car waits to actually get on site, trekking from the car to the tent with all of your gear, fires at night filling the air with smoke, human traffic jams, and all of the garbage. i have to say it was the garbage that bugged me most. being a 'green' festival it seemed that very few people cared about leaving no trace on fields that usually are home to the cows of worthy farm.

but the beautiful things you don't quite get either. massive paper lanterns being sent up like slowly reversing shooting stars every night, the huge variety of people and ages, a general no pushing policy, being able to wear whatever you want and get away with it, the park stage, the stone circle and most of all the 100,000 people plus sing-a-longs that take place daily.

it was a once in a lifetime experience that i'll never forget. *everyone* should put it on their bucket list.

going to glastonbury!

there weren't that many things that i consciously put on my 'uk bucket list', but going to glastonbury music festival was definitely one of them. it's the largest greenfield performing arts festival in the world and *everybody* plays there. not to mention everybody goes too - over 175,000 people!!!

it is lacking a lot of canadian bands this year in my opinion, but i'm a bit bias. neil young is headlining on friday night to make up for it though. you can check out the full line up here.

the weather is supposed to be gorgeous until at least friday, so we'll hopefully stay dry until then. to kick off my week off i'm going to see kelly in bristol tomorrow. she's taking the afternoon off so we're going to take in the banksy show at bristol museum. really looking forward to that.

keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't rain and that i don't lose my tent amongst the sea of nylon.

le update

evening faithful readers and my apologies for not being around of late. it's been a busy, tiring time for many reasons and it feels like much has happened since my last posting. the trip home was okay. we, of course, had some laughs, beers and i even got to watch the hockey game on my birthday. the weather was gorgeous, which was much appreciated by me too.

i do have some news to report that i'll make short and sweet. davoud and i are splitting up so it will just be me moving back to canada in august. i'm not going to say more than that, but we're both doing okay despite it being very sad.

the weather here when i got back was glorious, but has taken a turn for the worst. the rain and humid weather has settled in for the past few days making for not very nice hair days. i've been trying to get out for my training walks and did my longest one on sunday at 10 km! so if you haven't donated yet, you can do so by clicking here. i'm almost at 50% of my target and would love to make it to 100% before i get back to canada!

Ross Kenneth Gould

i'm getting ready to go home for just under a week. very sadly, my Grandpa Gould died two and a half weeks ago and the memorial service is this coming sunday. it's been a difficult time and has reinforced how much it means to me to get home for good. being far away - knowing that even if you were around there is very little you could do - is a burden at times like these. no amount of real ale or rain can wash that away.

i remember my Grandpa teaching me how to use his typewriter. his office in the basement of their house at 24 rowse crescent - i can still remember the old phone number too - was immaculate. there was also iced tea in the fridge, which was my absolute favourite and mini wheats for breakfast. and then there were the fresh cherry tomatoes that i always went home with in a plastic margarine container. the last time i talked to him, we swapped notes on writing dissertations; the vast difference there is between writing one now and probably seventy years ago.

i do need to get to bed though. it's late, i worked a 12 hour day, have been trying to pack and get organised and dissolved into tears when i was trying to cut my fringe/bangs myself so they'd stop getting in my way. a good night sleep will do me good.

the last of the Canadian visitors

dad and christine outside arguments yard in whitby, north yorkshire

fountains abbey

it's been a busy week. last friday we greeted my dad and christine at manchester airport and embarked on a whirlwind weekend around liverpool before setting off for four nights in the yorkshire dales. we had lots of laughs and what we would all describe as one of the best pub experiences ever at the green dragon in hardrow village in yorkshire. all i'll say is that it involved my dad getting a hug from a lancashire man in yorkshire, a kd lang lookalike, and a drunk farmer.

what's nice about this visit is that they are coming back up to liverpool after their own tour of the south, which is quite ambitious, but no doubt they'll have a great time. we all remarked on how taking them to the train station in liverpool to head down to london was complete roll reversal. davoud and i had armed them with a phone, satellite navigation, more maps and tips on where to eat. "and don't forget to call us when you get there!"

it's a bank holiday weekend here so thankfully we're not back at work until tuesday. i have a bit of school work to finish up on monday and then it will officially all be done. who knows what i'm going to do with all of that spare time...

away to wales

davoud, karen and i met up with val and paul in conwy yesterday for a hike up conwy mountain. it was an absolutely glorious day - much improved on the day before! - so we tried to make the most of it. there were wild horses, sheep and little lambs along the way, which made things even more enjoyable. val was our official navigator and did a really good job apart from a small hiccup at the start of the journey ;)
after our walk, we sat by the harbour and had some chips. davoud and karen went into the castle, but as i'd just been there last week i opted to sit and read the newspaper. last night some friends came round for food and today we're enjoying a fairly lazy sunday, although i do now need to get some school work done!

canadian visitors month

karen and i in the cains pub after our brewery tour

april has officially been renamed 'canadian visitors month.' davoud and i have been treated to a visit from janine last week, which was lovely and filled with afternoon teas in harvey nicks, a weekend away in conwy for some tin cymraeg, lots of crisps, and a heartbreaking football match. we're now hosting karen for about a week and thankfully it's easter weekend so i have a whole four days off!

yesterday we did a wee tour of liverpool on the yellow duckmarine, walked around the albert dock, visited the awe inspiring anglican cathedral and then went to cains for the brewery tour. now davoud and i have both done the tour before, but you get two pints at the end of it so it was well worth a second go around.

today thankfully the weather has cleared up and we're heading to wales with val and paul for a hike. which is a good thing really because even though i'm not on holiday i have certainly been eating and drinking as though i am.

some bedtime reading

well, as the faithful readers know i have finished my disseration and if you're daft enough to want to read it just send me an e-mail. it's long so i'm warning you now.

i am feeling better and back on semi-regular food. not quite up to my usual intake of fruits and vegetables, but i'll get there soon no doubt. i met davoud down in coventry last weekend so i could visit with his family, especially his father who's been in hospital since late february. one of the highlights was going to the pub and watching a rare win for liverpool fc over arch rivals manchester united. a nice 4-1 win too!

went to the film 'the class' last night, which was a great portrait of young people in france today. i highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get into the heads of a teacher at a tough school or a 14 year old boy or girl.



i'm off to york this weekend to complete research for one of my last two projects for school - i'm getting there! and then i'll have to get ready for the welcome onslaught of canadian visitors in april. we have a week free just in case anybody is keen to hop on an airplane...

stomach bug

i had a really lovely weekend. pints at the pub on friday, cleaning, chores and a run on saturday, and a nice long walk with val and paul on sunday. monday i lazed around the house and then went to class after which i came home and cooked myself a piece of salmon from tesco. i'm fairly convinced at this point that it was my downfall.

the last 30 hours have not been pleasant, i'm just hoping that i can keep some nutrients in my body today so i can go back to work tomorrow. not having done any school or proper work for the last five days is starting to drive me bonkers.

anyway, here's hoping the worst of it is over.

eighty weighty pages

over the last five weeks apparently my personality and voicebox have changed slightly. karen called me last night - to tell me she was coming to visit in april! hooray! - and didn't recognise my voice. so it's a good thing that my dissertation is almost finished. i could hand it in tomorrow if i really wanted to, but i'm just waiting on a second read and a little bit of feedback.

i've packed all of my papers away in a box, reorganised my one shelving unit in the house, and put away the hats and mitts from the hallway that have been stacked up on shoes for the last four months. it looks positively spring like out there. and hey, we might actually get to use our dining room table this week.

in the end, i probably will have written over 25,000 when all of the drafts and re-drafts are taken into consideration, but the final document will max out at eighty weighty pages. today i get to go pick out a nice presentation folder perhaps the most fun bit of this whole process. although visiting newcastle to do interviews was pretty nice too.

i can now leave the land of the funnel people and come back to the normal side of life. still two more projects to complete for my masters, but i have the feeling they are going to seem positively easy after this.

i'm really looking forward to this weekend. we're going to the pub straight after work on friday to celebrate and then who nows what the rest of the weekend will bring. ideas about hiking in wales, baking bread or watching movies all day have been floated, but we'll see how the mood strikes us.

anyway, a mass apology to all of those i haven't been in touch with recently and a very big thank you to everyone who supported me along the way. especially that very first week in february.

it's a perfect day for writing a dissertation

it's snowing outside. really, really snowing outside. this is a rare phenomenon in the uk as you probably know and as usual liverpool isn't getting the worst of it. london pretty much came to a grinding halt today and apparently there is more to come.

so it's a great day to write a dissertation.

i'm taking this week off to try and collect my thoughts on how the deparment of culture, media and sport and the museums, libraries and archives council's policy impacts audience development at museums and galleries. something i'm sure you'll all want to read when it's finished ;)

okay. so back to writing and watching the snow fall outside.

miracles *do* happen

all morning i've been in absolutely awe (in the back of my mind because i've actually been helping children learn how victorian children lived) over the plane landing in the hudson. i've spent my lunch half-hour reading, watching and just shaking my head in amazement.

anyway, just wanted to put that positive vibe out there after my last post before the next round of kiddies shows up.

off to newcastle this weekend and please do forgive me if i fall off the radar completely for the next month or so. my dissertation is due on 6 march and i'm anticipating it will consume my life.

oh...and only four more days till inauguration!!!

as i sat in my office researching what precautions the gallery took during world war II to protect the building and collections for a new learning session next year, i'm struck by sadness. i listen to bbc radio 4 all day when i'm here on my own and today all the news is about continued air strikes in gaza.

at a time of year when peace is the message we constantly hear, why, only two days after christmas (and yes, i know that neither of the religions recognise jesus as christ the saviour), have there been more casualities the palestinian territories since israel's last occupation of the territory in 1967?

i know it's incredibly complex and i'm not pretending to know what the solution is or who is wholly right or wrong (i don't anyone is in this case), but it makes me sad that a message of peace and goodwill to all can so quickly be forgotten.

i'm in the wrong business

so, a few weeks ago they did this feature in one of the weekend magazines about the best cheeses to get for christmas. i was really, really excited when i saw that one of them was gould's farmhouse cheddar that i could buy at my local marks and spencer! now, i don't ever buy cheese any more, but it's christmas and i have to be connected with this chees *somehow.*

anyway, it was a whopping £6.49 for one block of cheese so i'm thinking of driving out to the farm in somerset and getting them to take me on as a farmhand.

all things christmas

this is our lovely christmas house. i spent hours cutting out paper snowflakes the day i was off sick from work with my still never-ending cold. the icicle lights were hung twice because davoud didn't listen to me. but if you ask both of us about that story you'll get two very different versions...

and of course, our wee christmas tree. it's decorated mostly with knitted ornaments my grandma goodwin made and gave to me a couple of years ago. but there are a few other special ones too. the 'canadian, eh?' moose i think my mum and ron sent over the first christmas i was here, and the moose and penguin at the top of the tree commemorating last christmas when we were home in canada. i also made our little angel at the top last year out of a piece of cream coloured card and a gold pen. pretty talented, eh?

next year i envision a tree that hits the ceiling.

val, paul and rich were over for 'christmas' dinner last night. i made a traditional quebec christmas eve dish, reveillion tortiere, which is probably davoud's favourite meal ever. it only gets made at christmas and for his birthday because it involves pastry so therefore isn't very healthy! anyway, that's what christmas is all about: food, family and drink.

i'm off work tomorrow until saturday, so let the food and drink part of the festive season commence!

seamus christopher cranie

poppa pete and baby seamus (pronounced 'shamus'...and spelled that way too according to pete's niece)

i was lucky enough to be able to visit seamus christopher cranie, the newest addition to the circle of friends in liverpool, on friday afternoon. val picked me up early from work and we went to see the proud parents harriet and pete. they looked suprisingly rested and well adjusted...i'd be freaking if i had to look after something that small...like...forever.

momma harriet and well fed seamus

auntie val screaming louder than seamus. don't drop 'em!